Anger management

We all become angry, but is every instance sin? Paul wrote “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil (Eph.4:26-27).” From this verse and also verse thirty-one it is obvious that the idea of sin in the Church created hostility. The anger spoken of in verse twenty-six had become “bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander…[and] malice (v.31).” An ugly environment, to say the least. If we do not check the inner attitudes of our hearts they will manifest themselves outwardly. Indeed, Jesus taught that “what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander (Matt.15:18-19).” We know this to be true in our own daily experience.

A specific response of the heart that must be checked is anger. But, once again we must ask, is anger ever permissible? The Bible teaches us that God becomes angry—at sin and evil (e.g. Ps.7:11-13). So then, since we bear the imago dei, it seems to follow that anger which mirrors His is justified. Anger is sinful, however, when it arises because of selfish reasons. For instance, most would agree that it is right to become angry when someone uses the Lord’s name vainly. But anger is also justified when a person wrongly accuses you and slanders your name. Both are sinful. On the contrary, it is not right to become angry when your husband forgets to take out the trash. Likewise, anger is not justified when you are upset at a slower car as you try to make it to work. Anger that is just is directed at sin; unjust anger is the product of selfish ambition.

What Paul teaches in this text, though, is that even just anger can become sin. Calvin comments, “We feel every day how impossible, or, at least, how difficult it is to cure long-continued hatred. What is the cause of this, but that, instead of resisting the devil, we yield up to him the possession of our heart? Before the poison of hatred has found its way into the heart, anger must be thoroughly dislodged.” Rightly directed anger, then, is not necessarily sinful; however, all anger must be dealt with quickly before it becomes a sinful response. For example, if someone wrongly accuses me I may become angry at their unfair words. I cannot, however, remain angry for that would give the devil opportunity to encourage “bitterness and wrath and clamor and slander…” Paul’s point is that even anger that is justified should never be allowed to fester. John MacArthur notes that “In any case of anger, whether legitimate or not, if it is courted, “advantage [will] be taken of us by Satan (2Cor.2:11),” and he will feed our anger with self-pity, pride, self-righteousness, vengeance, defense of our rights, and every other sort of selfish sin and violation of God’s holy will.” According to this Ephesians text, anger should be a temporary reaction rather than a settled attitude.

Cultivating the inner life

"If the cultivation of the inner life is the secret of consistent Christian living, it is surely time that we in the Church paid more attention to it. For it is apparent to all right-thinking people that there is a lack of depth and reality about the lives of Christians today. We are in too frequent fellowship with outward things. There is little about our lives which lifts men's thoughts to God and make them take 'knowledge of us that we have been with Jesus.' Our lives are not God-centered; they are not Christ-centered. We allow other things to usurp that place and so we miss the real blessing (John J. Murray, in an Introduction to The Life and Diary of Andrew Bonar)."

Murray's analysis speaks to our generation more so than his own. The "lack of depth" in Christians today can certainly be traced to "too frequent fellowship with outward things." This, it would seem, is but a symptom of a much deeper problem. The true source of shallowness is biblical illiteracy. This becomes evident as soon as one enters today's Christian bookstore. In the average store theology texts are not put on display, but rather hidden out of sight. The great historical works of giants such as Spurgeon and Edwards are relegated to a "classics" section located somewhere near the church supplies. Why? Because they are not what people want to read. And the sad thing is that if Christians do find these theological needles in the haystack most cannot endure them. Simply stated, we prefer the shallow things because we have not been taught to swim in the deep end. The result is spiritual immaturity (Heb.5:11-14).

The burden for this contentment with spiritual immaturity falls squarely upon the shoulders of the pastor. He must teach the children of God how to think theologically, how to study the Scriptures, and how to detect the many doctrinal errors that abound today. "All Scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work (2Tim.3:16-17)." It is the man of God, however, who has been entrusted with delivering this word to God's people (Jn.21:15-17; 1Tim.1:3; 3:2; 4:6, 11-16; 2Tim.4:2; Titus1:9; 2:1). How can they be hungry for that which they have never tasted?

Do not neglect your wife's soul

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…(Eph.5:25).” Husbands would do well to rightly understand this as a command. There are no conditions attached to it; no if-then clauses. Paul simply declares here that it is the obligation of every husband to love his wife. Not only when she meets his needs or loves him in return, but always. The first question that springs into our minds is, "how can this be done?" But, a more appropriate question would be: “What can a husband give his wife that would be considered in the same league as Christ’s love for the church?” The answer is clearly presented by Paul, who teaches us that such love is concerned for the soul: “that He might sanctify her…” A husband will love his wife most when he seeks her spiritual maturity and personal holiness.

Paul spells out Christ’s goal for the church with three phrases: “that He might sanctify her,” “that He might present her to Himself in splendor...,” and “that she should be holy and blameless.” Christ’s death on behalf of the church was to make her holy. This love of Christ for His church is given as a model for a husband's love for his wife. Husbands, your biblical goal for your wife is that she would continually grow in holiness--that she would become more like Christ. What does she benefit if she becomes a better cook, improves her physical appearance, or changes in any other manner that does not affect her soul for godliness? Of course, these things are not bad in and of themselves, but they do little to promote personal holiness.

In an excellent piece by Richard Baxter entitled The Mutual Duties of Husbands and Wives Toward Each Other we read, "One of the most important duties of a husband to his wife and a wife to her husband is to carefully, skillfully, and diligently help each other in the knowledge and worship, and obedience of God that they might be saved and grow in their Christian Life...This is not love, when you neglect each other's soul..." Among the many profitable applications he offers is one concerning marital communication. "Take every opportunity which your nearness provides to be speaking seriously to each other about the matters of God, and your salvation. Discussing those things of this world no more than required. And then talk together of the state and duty of your souls towards God, and of your hopes of heaven, as those that take these for their greatest business. And don't speak lightly, or unreverently, or in a rude and disputing manner; but with gravity and sobriety, as those that are discussing the most important things in the whole world."

Such love would go a long way towards repairing many Christian marriages. The Puritans had it right in identifying the husband and father as the pastor of his family. In view of Paul's instruction, let us take up the staff and be actively involved in shepherding our wife's soul.

How do I love thee?

While pastoring at Dedham, English Puritan John Rogers wrote, "The unregenerate cannot love their neighbors. For a while they are kind to their bodies, yet they have no love for their souls--and is this worthy to be called love?" He then provided an example. "Carnal parents that pamper their children's bodies and store great portions for them but let their souls welter in sin and die and perish for want of instruction, admonition, prayer, and holy example--is this to be called love (A Treatise of Love)?" Since the unregenerated soul has no concern for that which is spiritual it is impossible for them to scratch the surface of true love, which is defined by God. "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God and God abides in him (1Jn.4:16)."

There is a necessary connection between regeneration and true love. The apostle John explains, "love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins (1Jn.4:7-10)." True love is cross-focused. Roger's point is simple: how can we say that we love and yet not care for the soul?

Our glorious walk

English Puritan Jeremiah Burroughs wrote, "You must walk and live so that by your walking you may draw others to be in love with the fellowship of Christ. God has made it to be glorious, so that you would show the glory of it to others...The lives of men convince more strongly than their words." Paul commended the Thessalonians for their walk. "For not only has the word of the Lord sounded forth from you in Macedonia and in Achaia, but your faith in God has gone forth everywhere, so that we need not say anything. For they themselves report concerning us the kind of reception we had among you, and how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God...(1Thess.1:8-9; Eph.4:1; Matt.5:16)." Burroughs continues with, "Oh what a blessed thing it would be if we could by our lives convince others that we are the plants of the Lord's own planting!..Let the name of God be precious to you."

Brothers, we are not Gentiles!

Paul utilized strong language when writing to the church at Ephesus. "Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds (Eph.4:17)." Of course, by "Gentiles" he meant the unbelievers. In other words, (to borrow Piper's terminology) "brothers, we are not Gentiles," i.e. unbelievers. Surely we would agree. But notice that Paul's rebuke didn't deal with any statement of faith, but rather with their lifestyle. This is why he begins verse 25 with "therefore, having put away falsehood." He wanted to contrast the Gentile behavior with Christ's church. In fact, a large part of his rebuke to them concerned the way in which they spoke to one another. For example, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Eph.4:29)." Anyone can sign-off on an article of faith, but the world judges us by the way we relate to one another. This is precisely what Jesus told His disciples: "By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another (Jn.13:35)."

Let's be honest: words have meaning; they also have power. Christians, of all people, should be more keenly aware of the power of words because Scripture speaks so much about it. Words can devastate, encourage, pierce, guide, instruct, and tear down. The evolution of the blogosphere has presented a new arena in which the timeless truths of Scripture must be tested. However, it has become apparent that in order to attract attention in this cyberspace forum the blogger must be provocative. A survey of SBC bloggers readily testifies to this reality. In seeking to promote truth (and I do believe many are sincere) the church's testimony is being "taken to the woodshed." I have no doubt that what we read in our blogs is but a sampling of what is in our heart (Matt.15:18-20). How can this happen? Do we believe that the internet rules of engagement are supra-Scripture?

During a recent lecture series, Al Mohler noted that "one of the biggest challenges right now in terms of urgency is blogging...The good news is that most of it is simply stupid and silly. Does anyone really care that this person likes Snickers better than Milky Way, or what they had for breakfast this morning, etc? That's probably 80 percent of what is out there. The bad news is the other 20 percent." To be fair, Mohler was speaking about training children to interact with pop culture. The "other 20 percent" that he spoke of focused upon youth groups and under-aged children; however, he draws out an important point that demands the attention of all bloggers. It is this: there is a significant number of bloggers who are having a significant impact upon our culture. That 20 percent is not composed solely of kids, but adults as well. And a large voice in the blogging community is Christian. This small number of Christian bloggers is impacting the Bride in ways are unclear at present.

In light of this, it is absolutely necessary for each Christian blogger to examine his or her heart, asking this one question: is what I am writing glorifying God or myself? Or, to put it in the words of Richard Baxter: am I "publishing His glory" or my own? There is but one corrective to this malady: Just as in every other area of life, we must submit to the Scriptures and allow God to dictate what we think, say and, yes, blog. Woe to the church if we do not. There is a great a need for theology to dictate blogging methodology. Meanwhile, the world casts their vote.

education v. revelation

Thinking rightly about God is necessary for salvation. Paul offered a contrast between the life of the unbeliever and believer in Ephesians 4:17-20, using the term "Gentiles" to refer to unbelievers. What is interesting is that he characterizes their lifestyles and behavior as a result of "the futility of their minds." The Greek word translated "futility" speaks of something that never succeeds. He adds to this assessment by saying that "they are darkened in their understanding" and ignorant. No matter how great a thinker is or impressive an intellect they have, the unbeliever is intellectually depraved. In the words of D.A. Carson, "Where you have highly educated thinkers, you have highly educated sinners." Education will never bring about salvation. English Puritan Joseph Caryl wrote, "Education cannot make the heart pure; it must be revelation which makes the heart pure. Good education may change the life and conversation...It may change a man's course, but it cannot change his nature; that is done by regeneration."

The condition of the unbeliever is presented clearly in God's own assessment. "The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually (Gen.6:5; cf.Rom.1:28; 8:7; 1Cor.2:14; Titus 1:15; 2Tim.3:8)." But it is not that the unbeliever is incapable of thought, nor even thinking about God. The problem is that their thoughts are solidly grounded in self. Thus, all their problems, hopes, desires, and even thoughts about God are mired in a never-ending cycle of self-centered thinking. If they will ever escape this cycle their minds must be acted upon by God. He must intervene. This is what occurred in the Ephesian Christians: "But that is not the way you learned Christ!" (i.e. salvation). In other words, learning Christ is not the product of futile thinking. If someone will be saved, they must learn about Christ; they must hear and understand the gospel. "When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart (Matt.13:19;cf.v.23)."

The most important task of the preacher is to explain the gospel from the Scriptures. We must agree with Paul, who desired God to "open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ...that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak (Col.4:3-4)."